Ian
Shilpa KarhikBlonde Jokes
July 14th 2006 00:05
AUTO REPAIR
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that
I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "it's A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was:
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that
consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit
of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing
the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the
class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator,
alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam
in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blond female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail
box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into
the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed
harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
* This image of Ellen Rocche came from the Wikipedia page for Blondes. The copyright holder of this image allows anyone to use it for any purpose.
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
Ellen Rocche (from Wikipedia)
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that
I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "it's A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was:
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that
consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit
of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing
the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the
class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator,
alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam
in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blond female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail
box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into
the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed
harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
* This image of Ellen Rocche came from the Wikipedia page for Blondes. The copyright holder of this image allows anyone to use it for any purpose.
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