Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | My Orble | Login

Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Betting With A Blonde

January 20th 2010 08:44
A redhead walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. She sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The redhead turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

The redhead placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
$20 blonde joke

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."

The redhead replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again"
49
Vote
   


The Blonde Who Wanted to Buy a TV

August 26th 2009 10:47
A blonde goes into an electronics store and asks, "How much is this TV?"
The salesman says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
So she dyes her hair and comes back as a brunette.
"How much is this TV?" she asks.
Again the salesman says, "I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
A few weeks later she goes in as a redhead, but again he announces, "We don't sell to blondes!"
Finally she says, "My hair is red. How did you know I was really a blonde?"
The salesman says, "Because it's not a TV. It's a microwave."

microwave TV
51
Vote
   


Postman Pat's Last Day

June 10th 2009 01:58
postman pat's last day
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup.

'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?'

'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'.
'I asked him what I should give you'.
He said, 'F*** him. Give him a fiver.'

She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'
49
Vote
   


Blonde Handyman

June 8th 2009 01:48
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


painted white Ferrari blonde
49
Vote
   


Jigsaw Puzzle

January 9th 2009 23:41
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............," he sighed, ..... "Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."
64
Vote
   


Brunette Jokes

October 24th 2008 02:05
brunette blonde jokes
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.

[ Click here to read more ]
104
Vote
   


The Blonde Cookbook ….

October 3rd 2008 12:22
Blonde Cookbook ….

Blonde CookBook

Monday: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls


[ Click here to read more ]
89
Vote
   


The Irish Blonde

August 1st 2008 02:40
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand pounds on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

[ Click here to read more ]
48
Vote
   


A Blonde's Year in Review

April 7th 2008 11:34
Legally Blonde Jokes.
January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight


[ Click here to read more ]
91
Vote
   


How to Get Sick Leave

December 24th 2007 10:32

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "crazy" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

[ Click here to read more ]
97
Vote
   


Blonde Joke

November 30th 2007 01:49
Dumb Blonde Joke - Milk Bath
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

[ Click here to read more ]
109
Vote
   


A Blonde Goes Fishing...

August 29th 2007 08:40
Dumb Blonde goes fishing

A blonde in Canada wanted to do a spot of ice fishing. So after getting all the right tools together, she headed towards the nearest frozen lake.

[ Click here to read more ]
42
Vote
   


More Dumb Blonde Jokes

March 7th 2007 11:31
Dumb Blonde Jokes - Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson - From Wikipedia
Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma

[ Click here to read more ]
46
Vote
   


The Best Blonde Joke Ever

February 28th 2007 13:21
Dumb Blondes
Spot the blondes!


A blonde, a brunette & a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in & after filling out the forms & going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her a last question, "How many D's are there in ‘INDIANA JONES


[ Click here to read more ]
45
Vote
   


Ian's Blogs

46649 Vote(s)
1359 Comment(s)
686 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
42192 Vote(s)
188 Comment(s)
687 Post(s)
40474 Vote(s)
474 Comment(s)
677 Post(s)
Jay's Blog (Member)
2275 Vote(s)
54 Comment(s)
39 Post(s)
Moderated by Ian
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]