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History Mystery

March 13th 2009 06:05


Ask a history teacher to explain this----- if they can? !


Abraham Lincoln. John F. Kennedy - Simularities



Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.



Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.



Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.



Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head




Now it gets really weird.




Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .



Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.




Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.




John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.




Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.




Now hang on to your seat.




Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'




Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.




Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.




And here's the kicker...




A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

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Farewell George W. Bush

February 2nd 2009 01:19
George bush quotes
George: We will miss you and your words of wisdom that brought tears to our eyes!


'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
- George W. Bush

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
- George W. Bush

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
- George W. Bush

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
-George W. Bush

'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'
- George W. Bush

'The future will be better tomorrow.'
- George W. Bush

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'
- George W. Bush

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
- George W Bush

'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe '
- George W. Bush

'Public speaking is very easy.'
- George W. Bush

'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.'
- George W. Bush

'I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.'
-George Bush

'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
- George W. Bush

'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'
-George W. Bush

'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.'
-George W. Bush
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Who's On First -- New Version

March 12th 2008 01:38
Who's on first - George Bush & Condoleezza Rice
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The main man in China!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars.
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The Oil Crisis Explained

January 16th 2008 01:30
australian american oil crisis explained
Australian Oil Crisis Explained

A lot of people can't understand how we came
To have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~

Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
Bass Strait
~~~
East Queensland Shale Fields
~~~
Canning Basin
~~~
Perth Basin
and
North-West Continental Shelf
~~~


Our
DIPSTICKS
Are located in
Canberra!!!

Any Questions ???
NO?
I didn't Think So.


American Oil Crisis Explained


A lot of folks can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington,DC !!!

Any Questions ???


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Kevin Rudd Jokes

November 9th 2007 10:34
Kevin Rudd Jokes 07
Did you hear that Kevin Rudd saw a disappointing poll this morning? It was bereft of a gyrating naked woman...






LAURIE OAKES: Well, tell us about this so-called gentlemen’s club, I think it is called Scores. Were there semi naked women there and what were they doing?

KEVIN RUDD: Well, Laurie because I had actually drunk a fair bit I don’t have a completely clearly recollection… On the evening itself, and I have checked this with Warren Snowden yesterday, we can’t actually recall anything that you wouldn’t see at most pubs across Australia...

LAURIE OAKES: I suppose the question is why when you saw what the club was like you didn’t leave again straightway?

KEVIN RUDD: Well that’s true, and that is a fair question. I think when you are there with a couple of blokes and you’ve already had a few too many drinks, which I had had on that evening, then I think it is always better to see these things with hindsight. I should have got out of there.

KEVIN RUDD: As I said the error lay with me, and I think most blokes if they are honest about it recognise when they have made an error of judgement and I did so. I called Therase, my wife, the next day explained to her what had happened and told her I had been a bit of a goose, and that’s the truth of it.

LAURIE OAKES: The News Limited papers assert without any evidence and not quoting anybody that you were warned by management for inappropriate behaviour, touching the women, now is that true?

KEVIN RUDD: I have absolutely no recollection of that, nor does Mr Snowden, and look we had too much to drink, I accept that...



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Three Brazilian Soldiers

November 5th 2007 10:11
Robert Gates briefed the President this morning,. He told Bush that Three Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the colour ran from Bush's face, the he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Gates, "Just how many is three Brazillion?"


[ Click here to read more ]
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Council House Complaints

October 15th 2007 02:18
These are genuine clips from letters sent to the Council Housing Department in London.



[ Click here to read more ]
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Pauline Hanson at the Pearly Gates

September 7th 2007 15:13
St. Peter's standing at the Pearly Gates, screening admissions, and someone comes up to him.

"Excuse me, can I come in ? I'm Ludwig van Beethoven


[ Click here to read more ]
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New National Government Symbol

April 25th 2007 10:22
The government today announced that it is changing it's national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the governments political stance.

government policy symbol condom

[ Click here to read more ]
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Everybody Loves Politicians!

March 26th 2007 11:01
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the freeway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"

[ Click here to read more ]
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History Lesson

December 15th 2006 06:07
This is one history lesson people won't mind reading!!

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Politically Correct Jokes

October 9th 2006 02:11
NOT Politically Correct -> Politically Correct

Old -> Chronologically gifted; also Experimentally enhanced


[ Click here to read more ]
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United States Congress

September 5th 2006 01:15
Would You Work For This Company?


[ Click here to read more ]
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John Howard called Peter Costello

August 22nd 2006 02:24
John Howard called Peter Costello into his office one day and said, "Peter I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."

"Good idea PM, how will we go about it?" said Peter


[ Click here to read more ]
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