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A Christmas Story

December 19th 2007 11:01
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
"Your miserable brats and ungrateful jerks,
I've a bloody good mind to scrap the whole works!"

I've busted my ass for damn near one year,
Instead of 'Thanks Santa'.......just what do I hear?
The old lady bitches, 'cause I work late all night.
The elves want more money; the reindeers all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids,
Donner is pregnant---even Vixen got laid!
And just when I thought things would start to get better

Those assholes from Tax sent me this bloody letter,
They say I owe taxes - now isn't that funny
Who in the hell ever SENT Santa money?

And the kids these days, they all are just the pits
They want the impossible, those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
And assembling those dolls...their heads, arms and legs
I made tons of yo yo's--No request for them
It's robots & computers!!!!...they think I'm IBM

Flying through the air... the trees hard to see
Falling down chimneys as I try not to pee
I'm quitting this job there's no longer enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment .

There's No Christmas this year, now you all know the reason
and I found me a blonde; I'm going SOUTH for the season

Santa with a blonde. Gone south for the season

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