Doctor & Medical Jokes
April 20th 2007 11:44
A tired businessman complained to his doctor,
"What's wrong with me doctor? I feel awful."
"Let me ask you a few questions. Do you drink much alcohol?"
"None at all".
"What about smoking?"
"No, it's a filthy habit."
"Do you stay out late?"
"I'm in bed every night by ten thirty."
"Well, are you having sharp pains in the head?"
"Yes I am, all the time."
"Just as I thought," said the doctor. "Your halo's on too tight".
Arnie, the tailor was frantic. His wife, Rebecca, was sick and perhaps dying.
"Doctor, please save my wife. I'll pay anything."
"What if I can't cure her?"
"I'll pay you whether you cure her or kill her. Just come straight away."
Although the doctor was prompt is visiting the woman, she died a few days later. The doctor sent Arnie a hefty bill. The tailor couldn't hope to pay, and asked the doctor to appear before the rabbi with him, to have the case arbitrated.
"He agreed to pay me for treating his wife, whether I cured her, or killed her."
The rabbi asked thoughtfully,
"Well, did you cure her?"
"No."
"Then did you kill her?"
"Certainly not."
"In that case," said the rabbi, "you have no grounds on which to base a fee."
The doctor told the middle aged matron with a smile,
"Don't be worried about your son playing with dolls."
"It doesn't worry me, but his wife is most upset."
"What's wrong with me doctor? I feel awful."
"Let me ask you a few questions. Do you drink much alcohol?"
"None at all".
"What about smoking?"
"No, it's a filthy habit."
"I'm in bed every night by ten thirty."
"Well, are you having sharp pains in the head?"
"Yes I am, all the time."
"Just as I thought," said the doctor. "Your halo's on too tight".
Arnie, the tailor was frantic. His wife, Rebecca, was sick and perhaps dying.
"Doctor, please save my wife. I'll pay anything."
"What if I can't cure her?"
"I'll pay you whether you cure her or kill her. Just come straight away."
Although the doctor was prompt is visiting the woman, she died a few days later. The doctor sent Arnie a hefty bill. The tailor couldn't hope to pay, and asked the doctor to appear before the rabbi with him, to have the case arbitrated.
"He agreed to pay me for treating his wife, whether I cured her, or killed her."
The rabbi asked thoughtfully,
"Well, did you cure her?"
"No."
"Then did you kill her?"
"Certainly not."
"In that case," said the rabbi, "you have no grounds on which to base a fee."
The doctor told the middle aged matron with a smile,
"Don't be worried about your son playing with dolls."
"It doesn't worry me, but his wife is most upset."
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