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Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Ex Wife Jokes

February 4th 2008 01:49
A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. The now PO'd cop walks up and yells at the guy, "What's the big idea?" The guy responds, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer.

Ex-es, Can't live with them, can't leave the court house with them.

An ex-wife is like an inflamed appendix, they cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!

My wife ran off with my best friend and I really miss him.


I still miss my ex-wife....but my aim is getting better.

She was a great housekeeper. When we divorced, she kept the house.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush
restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady
swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to
drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."
"My goodness!" says the wife. "Who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?"


Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."



Divorce lawyer: $10 000; Loss of house, car etc: 250,000; Small marine motor: $275; Disposable camera: $8. Sending your ex-wife a picture of you boating on her family heirloom dining room table: Priceless. MasterCard take off

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