Ian
Shilpa KarhikTwo Versions of the Same Joke, Which is Best?
July 9th 2007 02:34
Which version of the joke below involving an Ostrich and a man with exact change is the funniest?
Version 1
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be $9.40 please," she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Version 2
A guy walks into a bar. Directly behind him follows an ostrich and a cat.
The man walks up to the bar, and sits down. The ostrich and the cat do likewise. The bartender walks up and says “Can I help you?"
The man says “I’d like a beer." The ostrich says "I'd like a beer." The cat says "I'd like half a beer, but I aint paying for it!"
The bartender thinks this is slightly strange, but he goes and gets the drinks. He tell the man “That will be 6.50 sir."
The man reaches into his pocket, and pulls out exactly 6 dollars and 50 cents, and hands it to the bartender.
A few moments later the bartender returns, and asks if the man would like anything else. The man says “I want a beer and a Scotch." The ostrich says "I' want a beer and a Scotch." The cat says "I' want half a beer and half a Scotch, but I aint paying for it!"
The bartender comes back with the order and tells the man that the total is 12.75. The man reaches into his pocket, and pulls out exactly 12 dollars and seventy-five cents, and hands it to the bartender.
The Bartender looks at the guy, and asks "Look, I've got to know how you did that. How did you happen to have the right amount of money in your pocket to pay for you order?"
The man looks over his shoulder, and says “Look, I'll tell you, but you have to promise to keep it a secret." After the Bartender agrees, he goes on. “Well, it's like this, 2 years ago I was shipwrecked on this tiny island out in the middle of nowhere. After six months on the island, I was walking down the beach, and I found this old bottle laying in the sand. I opened the bottle, and this Genie came out. For freeing her she granted me three wishes. Well, naturally my first wish was to be back home, and poof, I was back in my own apartment. My second wish was that every time I ever had to pay for anything, all I would have to do was reach into my pocket, and the exact amount of money I needed would magically be there...."
"My god" the bartender says, “That’s brilliant. You'll never run out of money for as long as you live. I have never heard of anyone wishing for anything so wise. But tell me, what was your third wish?"
Pointing at his companions the man replied....
"I wished for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy!"
| 41 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
