Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Female Demerit Point System

September 3rd 2008 02:32

A Gentlemanís Guide to ďThe Female Demerit SystemĒ

Female demerit point system - You failed
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You donít get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, thatís the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:


You make the bed (plus 1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (minus 1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (plus 5) In the rain (plus 8)
But return with Beer (minus 5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (plus 1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (plus 5)
You pummel it with iron rod (plus 10)
Itís her pet (minus 20)


You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (minus 2)
Named Tina (minus 10)
Tina is a dancer (minus 20)
Tina has silicone implants (minus 80)


You take her out to dinner (plus 2)
You take her out to dinner and itís not a sports bar (plus 3)
Okay, itís a sports bar (minus 2)
And itís all-you-can-eat night (minus 3)
Itís a sports bar, itís all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (minus 10)


You take her to a movie (plus 1)
You take her to a movie she likes (plus 3)
You take her to a movie you hate (plus 6)
You take her to a movie you like (minus 2)
Itís called ĎDeath Copí (minus 3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(minus 15)


You develop a noticeable potbelly (minus 15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (plus 10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (minus 30)
You say, ďIt doesnít matter, you have one too.Ē (minus 8000)


She asks, ďDo I look fat?Ē (minus 5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what.)
You hesitate in responding (minus 10)
You reply, ďWhere?Ē (minus 35)
Any other response (minus 20)


When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (plus 50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (plus 500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (minus 1000)


subscribe to this blog 




Add A Comment

To create a fully formatted comment please click here.


Name or Orble Tag
Home Page (optional)
Bold Italic Underline Strikethrough Separator Left Center Right Separator Quote Insert Link Insert Email
Notify me of replies
Your Email Address
(required for reply notification)
More Posts
1 Posts
1 Posts
1 Posts
963 Posts dating from March 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:

Ian's Blogs

75265 Vote(s)
1589 Comment(s)
1037 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
65905 Vote(s)
236 Comment(s)
1039 Post(s)
60512 Vote(s)
613 Comment(s)
943 Post(s)
Jay's Blog (Member)
3619 Vote(s)
54 Comment(s)
39 Post(s)
Moderated by Ian
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]