April 23rd 2010 01:41
"I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife
...best trade I ever made."
A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.
After about a half-mile the fella stopped and stooped over, with his hands on his thigh's to catch his breath, and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, boy," the Warden gasped.
With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir," replied the young feller, "but, my friend back there - Well, he don't have one."
A blonde guy gets up really early in the morning to go ice fishing. He goes out onto the ice with his tent, his pick and his fishing rod, and starts to pick at the ice.
Then he hears a big booming voice: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The guy looks around and then starts to pick at the ice again. Then he hears the voice again: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Now the guy is getting a little edgy. He looks up toward the sky and thinks to himself, "God, is that you?"
There is no answer, so he starts picking again. The voice bellowed again: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Then the guy yells, "God, is that you?"
The voice answered, "NO. IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."
You know you are a fisherman when...
1. You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
2. Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.
3. You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".
4. Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
5. You keep a flippin stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
6. You name your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
7. Bass Pro Shop has a private line just for you.
8. You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.
9. You have a photo of your 10 lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.
10. You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal.
11. You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
12. You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot.
13. You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.
14. Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.
15. You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage.
16. Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone,
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