Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Random Funny Jokes and Quotes

October 5th 2006 03:05
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No ideer

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no ideer

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Two Cows
Two Cows In a field.

First Cow: Hey, don't you worry about getting Mad Cow Disease?
Second Cow: Nah, I'm a penguin.



Q: What do you do with a dog with no legs?
A: Take it for a drag.

Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, large, grey and hairy ?
A: Coz if they were small, round and white they'd be an aspirin.

A Man walks into a bar.
Ouch, it was an iron bar.

Three Sheep in a Field.
1st sheep: Baaa
2nd sheep: Baaa
3rd sheep: Moo.
1st sheep: I beg your pardon?
2nd sheep: Why did you say that?
3rd sheep: I'm learning a foreign language.

Q: Why do milking stools only have 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: What did the Irishman call his pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's got 4 legs and an arm?
A: A Rottweiler

Two sodium atoms talking together.
First atom: "Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons."
Second atom: "Are you sure?"
First atom: "I'm positive!!"

Two goldfish in a tank, one says 'd'you know how to drive this thing?'

What did the grape say when it got stood on by an elephant?
Nothing, it just gave out a little whine.


Q: How do you make a cat go 'woof'?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

Q: How do you make a dog go 'miaow'?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw...

Q: How heavy are 4 elephant testicles?
A: Very! it takes two elephants to carry them....

Q: What's frightening and stuck on the end of your arm?
A: A terror wrist.

Q: What are squares scared of?
A: Vicious circles.

Two idiots were sitting on the floor.
...one fell off.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
A: Bob

Radio: Police are looking for a man with one eye called George.
Boy: What's his other eye called?

A sandwich walks into a pub and asks for a pint of lager.
"Sorry sir," says the barman, "we don't serve food here."

Q: What do you do if you see a blue frog?
A: Stop and cheer it up.

Q: What do you get hanging from banana trees?>
A: Sore arms.



Quotes - Pearls of wisdom

"I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget."
--Michael McShane

"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim.
I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
--Paula Poundstone

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
--Elayne Boosler

Conan O'Brien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study:
Duh."
--Conan O'Brien



"When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other."
--Mr Bean

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be.
But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."
--Jeff Stilson

"And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said,
'Shit! A truck!' "
--Emo Phillips
67
Vote


   
subscribe to this blog 


   

   



   

Comments
1 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by WeR1Family

October 13th 2006 14:37
HAHAHAHAHA!
Funny collection of short jokes!
Such creative way of word-trickery ^_^
Amusing

Add A Comment

To create a fully formatted comment please click here.


CLICK HERE TO LOGIN | CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Name or Orble Tag
Home Page (optional)
Comments
Bold Italic Underline Strikethrough Separator Left Center Right Separator Quote Insert Link Insert Email
Notify me of replies
Your Email Address
(optional)
(required for reply notification)
Submit
More Posts
1 Posts
1 Posts
1 Posts
963 Posts dating from March 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
0

Ian's Blogs

74310 Vote(s)
1627 Comment(s)
1035 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
64631 Vote(s)
236 Comment(s)
1035 Post(s)
59385 Vote(s)
613 Comment(s)
940 Post(s)
Jay's Blog (Member)
3575 Vote(s)
54 Comment(s)
39 Post(s)
Moderated by Ian
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]