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The Gunslinger

March 16th 2011 03:28
gunslinger wyatt earp joke
It's 1880, a time of gunslingers and gentlemen. This is a story of a young man that wanted more than anything to be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the west. The place was Dodge City, Kansas in the Sawdust Saloon. The young man walked into the Sawdust Saloon and, to his surprise, saw Bat Masterson sitting at a table playing poker.

The young man alked up to Bat and said, "Mr. Masterson, I would like to be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?" Bat Masterson put his cards down, looked up at the boy and said, "Son, I don't usually give out tips that could someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you."

The boy stepped back and Mr. Masterson said, "You look good. You're wearing black, you've got two big ivory handled guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But what's more important, son, is: Can you shoot?" The young man, eager to show how good he was, quickly drew the pistol from his right holster and seemingly without aiming shot the cuff link off of the piano player's right sleeve.

Bat Masterson said, "That's good shooting son, but can you shoot with your left hand?" Before Masterson could even finish, the boy had already drawn the pistol from his left holster, shot the cuff link off of the piano player's left shirt sleeve, and reholstered the gun. Very proud of himself, the young man smiled, "How was that?"

Bat Masterson smiled and looked up and the boy and said, "That was pretty good shooting son, there are only a few men in the territory that could do better! But, I do have one last suggestion for you."

"What's that?" the boy asked. "I suggest you go to the kitchen and ask the cook for a large can of lard. Then take both of your guns and stick them down deep in the lard."

Puzzled, the gunslinger asked why he should do that. Masterson put his cards down again, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Well, son, when Mr. Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano over there, he's going to take those guns of yours and..."

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