Ian
Shilpa KarhikHusband and Wife Leave Passes
August 8th 2008 02:53
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Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.
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Genealogy
May 12th 2008 13:03
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Before & After Marriage
May 9th 2008 11:56
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Be Nice to Your Partner
March 24th 2008 01:23
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 95, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did'.
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Darn it, woman, cant you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And i noticed that your not wearing your seat belt sir. That’s an automatic $100.00 fine'.
The driver says, 'Well, you see officer I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence out of my back pocket.'
The wife then says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you are driving.'
And the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?????'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma' am?'
You're going to love this
"Only when he has been drinking."
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Ex Wife Jokes
February 4th 2008 01:49
A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. The now PO'd cop walks up and yells at the guy, "What's the big idea?" The guy responds, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer.
Ex-es, Can't live with them, can't leave the court house with them.
An ex-wife is like an inflamed appendix, they cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!
My wife ran off with my best friend and I really miss him.
I still miss my ex-wife....but my aim is getting better.
She was a great housekeeper. When we divorced, she kept the house.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush
restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady
swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to
drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."
"My goodness!" says the wife. "Who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?"
Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
Ex-es, Can't live with them, can't leave the court house with them.
An ex-wife is like an inflamed appendix, they cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!
My wife ran off with my best friend and I really miss him.
I still miss my ex-wife....but my aim is getting better.
She was a great housekeeper. When we divorced, she kept the house.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush
restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady
swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to
drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear
she hasn't been sober since."
"My goodness!" says the wife. "Who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?"
Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Cake or Bed
January 23rd 2008 01:41
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
How Do Nerds Explain the Birds and Bees?
November 28th 2007 01:40
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Maths Problem
October 8th 2007 01:55
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Parent's Wedding Anniversary
October 5th 2007 02:38
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one.. "Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift [ Click here to read more ]
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Ralph's Surgery
July 4th 2007 11:14
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown fifty centimetres [ Click here to read more ]
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Miriam's Advice Line
July 2nd 2007 10:47
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Curtain Rods - Priceless
May 30th 2007 12:15
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Looking Into the Mirror
May 16th 2007 15:43
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself [ Click here to read more ]
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Priceless
April 23rd 2007 09:40
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!
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And, next to them, a single red rose!
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Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
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