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Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Icy Jokes

July 10th 2009 03:39
ice jokes
Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."

Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Q: What do you call fifty penguins in the Arctic?

A: Lost! REALLY lost! (Penguins live in Antarctica.)

Q: What's another name for ice?
A: Skid stuff!

Q: How do you keep from getting cold feet?
A: Don't go around BRRfooted!

Q: Why is the slippery ice like music?
A: If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

Q: What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Where do seals go to see movies?
A: The dive-in!

Q: What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How do you know if there's a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!

Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.

No matter how cold you are, DO NOT attempt to build a fire in a kayak! You can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Due to isolated locations, the cost of living in the Arctic can be very high. However, the cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

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Q: What's the difference between a walrus and a banana?
A: You'd better find out, because if you ever try to peel a walrus...


Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
A: Leeks!

Q: Why didn't the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake - and kept popping out of bed all night!


Q: If the sun shines while it's snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.

Q: What did one Greenland Shark say to the other?
A: "Say, good lookin'... didn't I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?"

Q: What's a sign that you have an irrational fear of icebergs?
A: You start having water-tight compartments installed in your pants.

Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"

Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
A: I have no eye deer.

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
A: "Where were you on the night of September to March?"

Q: If you live in an igloo, what's the worst thing about global warming?
A: No privacy!

Q: What did the walrus say when it was late?
A: "I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship."

Q: What did the icy Arctic road say to the truck?
A: "Want to go for a spin?"

Q: Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?
A: They're both below C level!

Q: What are caribou calves given to wear?
A: Hoof-me-downs.
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