Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Jokes - August 2008

Husband and Wife Leave Passes

August 8th 2008 02:53
This couldn't be more true...
Click on these images to open in a larger window.


APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Name of Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period: Time of return Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed: Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancι/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever. Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total Locations to be visited Females with whom conversation is permitted IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship. I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit. I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct. Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancι/Husband: Request is: APPROVED DENIED This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Permission for my boyfriend/fiancι/husband to be away for the following period of time: Date: Time of departure: Time of return: Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancι/Wife: Location: From: To: Location: From: To: Location: From: To:



APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS Name of Girlfriend/Fiancι/Partner/Wife: I’m going out. Signed: (me)


32
Vote
Shared on

   
Subscribe to this blog 


Just this blog This blog and DailyOrble (recommended)

   

   

   



[ Link ]
Posted By: Ian - Category: Husband and Wife
Related Posts:
   

Add A Comment

To create a fully formatted comment please click here.


CLICK HERE TO LOGIN | CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Name or Orble Tag
Home Page (optional)
Comments
Bold Italic Underline Strikethrough Separator Left Center Right Separator Quote Insert Link Insert Email
Notify me of replies
Notify extra people about this comment
Is this a private comment?
List the Email Addresses or Orble Tags of the people you would like to be notified about this comment


One per line max of 30

List the Email Addresses or Orble Tags of the people you would like to be notified about this private comment thread. Only the people in this list will be able to see or reply to your comment.


One per line max of 30

Your Name
(for the email going out to the above list, it can be different to your Orble Tag)
Your Email Address
(optional)
(required for reply notification)
Submit
More Posts
November 2008
9 Posts
October 2008
14 Posts
September 2008
13 Posts
Older Posts
502 Posts dating from March 2006
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
0
[ View Blog Summary ] [ Create A New Post ] [ Add A Comment ]

Ian's Blogs

27335 Vote(s)
1013 Comment(s)
485 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
0 Vote(s)
0 Comment(s)
0 Post(s)
24701 Vote(s)
168 Comment(s)
483 Post(s)
23411 Vote(s)
373 Comment(s)
469 Post(s)
Jay's Blog (Member)
1824 Vote(s)
54 Comment(s)
39 Post(s)
Moderated by Ian
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]