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Women Vs Men When it Comes to Showers

March 7th 2008 08:57
Shower like a man or a woman
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :


*Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.


*Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

*Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

*Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

*Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

*Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

*Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

*Shave armpits and legs.

*Turn off shower

*Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower

*Spray mould spots with Tilex.

*Get out of shower.

*Dry with towel the size of a small country.

*Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
*Walk naked to the bathroom.

*If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

*Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

*Admire the size of your wiener and scratch balls.

*Get in the shower.

*Wash your face.

*Wash your armpits.

*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

*Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

*Pee.

*Rinse off and get out of shower.

*Partially dry off.

*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub thewhole time.

*Admire wiener size in mirror again.

*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

*Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

*Throw wet towel on bed.
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