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Jokes - A new funny joke each day to keep you laughing.

Find out who truly is your role model - mine was Gandhi.
DON'T SCROLL DOWN YET!!

FIRST, do the simple math below.
THEN, scroll down to find your hero.

It is truly remarkable just how accurate this is!

1) Pick your favourite number between 1 and 8
2) Multiply your choice by 3
3) Add 3
4) Multiply again by 3
5) You'll get a 2 digit number.....maybe 42, for example
6) Add the digits together.. Example 4 and 2 = 6

Now Scroll down.
With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Albert Einstein
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Mother Theresa
4. Ronald Reagan
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Eleanor Roosevelt
8. Kevin Rudd
9. Ian Jones
10. Winston Churchill
11. Nicole Kidman
12. Dalai Lama

I know, I know...I just have that effect on people...One day you, too, can be like me....Believe it!

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!! I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Misc

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Interesting Stuff!

March 10th 2010 02:25

This is interesting! Learn something new everyday....

'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand..
(Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
(Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog'
uses every letter of the alphabet.
(Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes) .
(Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not possibly doubting this, are you ?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'
(Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
(All you typists are going to test this out)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
(Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.
(I know some people that could do this too....!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)

Babies are born without kneecaps.
They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.....

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Just watch Nancy Polosi! She hits them at 4 to 5 times of men,

Now you know more than you did before!!

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Misc

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My Next Life

March 8th 2010 02:04

My Next Life by Woody Allen

In my next life I want to live my life backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm!

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Potentially and Realistically

December 21st 2009 04:26

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids' to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars.

But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo.

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Misc

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Conundrums

December 18th 2009 05:24

You need to check that your friend, Bob, has your correct phone number.
But you cannot ask him directly. You must write the question on a card and give it to Eve who will take the card to Bob and return the answer to you. What must you write on the card, besides the question, to ensure Bob can encode the message so that Eve cannot read your phone number?

You're the captain of a pirate ship.
Your crew gets to vote on how the gold is divided up. If fewer than half of the pirates agree with you, you die. How do you recommend apportioning the gold in such a way that you get a good share of the booty, but still survive?

You are given 2 eggs.
You have access to a 100-story building. Eggs can be very hard or very fragile means it may break if dropped from the first floor or may not even break if dropped from 100th floor. Both eggs are identical. You need to figure out the highest floor of a 100-story building an egg can be dropped without breaking. The question is how many drops you need to make. You are allowed to break 2 eggs in the process.

You have eight balls all of the same size.
7 of them weigh the same, and one of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the ball that is heavier by using a balance and only two weighings?

You are shrunk to the height of a nickel.
And your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?

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Fun Facts From Infection Control

December 2nd 2009 07:47

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1 1/2 liter of urine.
That should quench once thirst

[ Click here to read more ]

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Misc

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The Hokey Pokey

November 25th 2009 06:14

In Memoriam

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Acceleration

October 30th 2009 11:12

'DEFINITION OF ACCELERATION'

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Carnation Milk 65 Years Ago ....

October 19th 2009 12:27

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all

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Useless Knowledge

October 9th 2009 02:56

Almost useless knowledge, nevertheless amazing.

VERY INTERESTING STUFF !

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Misc

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Cowboys and Indians

September 21st 2009 08:47

Four old cowboys are having a discussion about what is the fastest thing in the world. First cowboy says, "I believe it's thinking, 'cause when you prick your finger or touch a flame, the pain instantly becomes thought and hits the brain."

Second cowboy says, "Well, I think its blinking. When you blink and open your eyes again, you immediately see everything. Nothing is changed."
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Country & Western Song Generator

September 18th 2009 02:53

Do-It-Yourself Country & Western Song

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Cowboys and Indians

September 16th 2009 02:35

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see

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Parking Space

September 4th 2009 12:26

A man was driving down the street, in a sweat, because he had an important meeting and couldn't find parking.

Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking

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