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Knowledge Test

September 12th 2011 02:34
There are only nine questions.

This is a quiz for people who know everything!

I found out in a hurry that I didn't.

These are not trick questions.

They are straight questions with straight answers.


knowledge test


1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.




2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?



3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?



4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?



5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?



6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words.

Name two of them.



7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.

Can you name at least half of them?



8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.



9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'




Answers To Quiz:



1.. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends:
Boxing.



2. North American landmark constantly moving backward:

Niagara Falls ...

(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)



3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.



4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.



5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle.

The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree.
The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.



6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...



7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.



8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.



9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S':
Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

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Word of Advice

August 31st 2011 02:51
little johnny lollies
One fine afternoon a man was walking down the street; and as he came around the corner he spotted a young boy sitting in front of the local lolly shop. As he approached, he realised it was his neighbour’s kid - Little Johnny.

The boy was shoving sweet tarts and chocolate bars down his throat as fast as possible, so much that it prompted the man to offer some advice: "You know, Johnny, it's not healthy to eat all those lollies."

Little Johnny looks up at him and quickly retorts "You know, my grandad lived to be 96 years old."

"Oh," the man replied, "did he eat a lot of lollies?"
"Nope," retorted Little Johnny, "he minded his own damn business!"
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How To Use Capitalisation!

August 29th 2011 02:45

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE WHEN CAPITALISATION IS APPROPRIATELY USED!

This from a retired English teacher...

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capitalisation.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement.
“Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

Is everybody clear on that?


Uncle jack off a horse. Capitalisation




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The Lotus Touts

August 24th 2011 06:25
Good and Happy Life Tips: The Lotus Touts



lotus touts life lessons


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.



TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, t heir conversational skills will be as important as any other.



THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.



FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.



FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye..



SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.



SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.



EIGHT.. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.



NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely...



TEN.... In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.



ELEVEN.. Don't judge people by their relatives.



TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.



THIRTEEN! ... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'



FOURTEEN.. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.



FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.



SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.



SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.



EIGHTEEN.. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.



NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.



TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.



TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
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FROM THE DESK OF

HOMER J. SIMPSON


Dear Prince William and Duchess Kate,

On behalf of my family and the town of Springfield, we would like to extend an invitation to visit a table read for an episode of "The Simpsons" during your upcoming visit to Los Angeles.

Your wedding was a thrilling event for all the American viewers, although I don't understand why you had it at one in the morning. Marge couldn't stop crying, mainly because it was so much better than her own wedding. Lisa loved watching history come to life in the venerable halls of Westminster Abbey, and Bart liked goofing on those crazy hats.

We know your vacation time is precious, and you must be very tired from your busy schedule back home of jousting and fighting dragons. Visiting The Simpsons will provide an excellent opportunity for cultural exchange. In England at four o'clock, you have tea and scones. Whereas at four o'clock here, I have beer and beer. British people revere the royal family, where in America, we worship our own royal family: the Kardashians. And so forth.
If you agree to visit our little show, I promise I will be amusing, my wife will be gracious, my daughters will be charming, and my son will be duct-taped to the boiler in the basement.



Your friend,

Homer Simpson


P.S. If you knighted me,that would be so awesome. It would really impress the guys at Moe's.




Homer Simpson Invitation to Prince William and Duchess Kate

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Everything I Like....

July 25th 2011 06:30
Tell Me About It!!

[ Click here to read more ]
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I Believe …

July 18th 2011 07:17
I believe quotes


That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become


[ Click here to read more ]
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Signs You've Grown Up

July 8th 2011 06:26
you know you've grown up when


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them


[ Click here to read more ]
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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift


[ Click here to read more ]
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Calling a Jackass

July 1st 2011 03:19
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again


[ Click here to read more ]
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Jack Schitt

June 24th 2011 04:11
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt.” Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parent’s objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Hoarse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
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Space Jokes

June 1st 2011 05:20
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The Six Truths in Life

May 30th 2011 05:11
There are Six Truths in Life


[ Click here to read more ]
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Friendship Wish

May 23rd 2011 23:49
AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH:


[ Click here to read more ]
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