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Are You Getting Older?

April 4th 2008 01:39

Older than dirt
"Hey Dad," someone's kid asked the other day, "What was your favourite fast food when you were growing up?"

"We didnít have fast food when I was growing up," he was informed. "All the food was slow."

"Come on, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home,'" it was explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard the father was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so Dad didn't tell him the part about how he had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things he would have told him about his childhood if he figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a store card. The card was good only at Farmers (now Myers).

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 18, and my grandparents never had one. It was, of course, black and white.

I was 20 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didnít have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfatherís Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone in my room. Never had a phone in the house, until I built my own house. We fought with my mother to get a phone after Dad died, she used to use the phone box on the corner.. in all weathers. When growing up, there was no dial on the phone, you asked the switchboard operator for the number you wanted. The exchange joined the connections with cables.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I never delivered a newspaper.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old tomato sauce bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old, coz I remember that.

Older Than Dirt Quiz:

How many do you remember?
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

1. Choo Choo bars
2. Drive in movies
3. Passenger aircraft with propellers
4. Soft drink machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or milk bars with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with foil stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. Packard's
10. Blue flashbulb
11. Telephone numbers with 2 letters and 4 numbers
12. Peashooters
13. Wash tub wringer
14. 78 RPM records
15. Metal ice trays with lever
16. Not wearing seat belts
17. Cracker night
18. Using hand signals for cars without turn signals
19. Bread delivered by horse and cart
20. Head lights dimmer switches on the floor
21. Ignition switches on the dashboard
22. Heaters mounted on the inside of the wall
23. Real ice boxes
24. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards
25. Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner
26. Kerosene lamps to light your living room because you didn't have electricity yet
27. Checkout ladies who punched in prices of groceries on the cash register
28. Savings account passbooks
29. Ladies wearing hats, gloves, stockings and high heels to church even on hot days
30. Computers that were the size of rooms and were only located somewhere overseas

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 15-20 = Better sign up for that pension,
If you remembered 21-30 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.

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