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Fair Cop

February 12th 2010 04:35

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,

when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $50 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'

Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'

The little girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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New Internet Law

December 26th 2009 05:08

Just wanted to let you know that a New Homeland Security Process has passed. Things will be different now and Internet surfing as you know it will be tracked by what the FBI calls a 'non intrusive method.' The FBI says you will hardly notice anything different.

For a demonstration, click on the link below, and then move your arrow (cursor) on your screen:

Homeland Security

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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Strangest Suicide In History

March 11th 2009 05:56

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a strange death. Here is the story:

On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound of the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter not the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended. That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands. "The room on the ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed the wife and the pellets went through the window striking Opus.

"When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her - therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

"The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now, becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus."

There was an exquisite twist. "Further investigation revealed that the son, Ronald Opus, had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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When Robberies Go Wrong!

May 28th 2008 02:39

Gas to drive stolen car to the 7-11 store:
$10.00

Winter hoodie jacket with large inside pocket to conceal identity and carry gun:
$85.00

9mm handgun purchased up the block:
$150.00

Failure to master holding on to your weapon during your planned armed robbery:
PRICELESS

(Watch closely...it repeats itself)

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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Aussie Ingenuity

July 18th 2007 02:37

QC received a very amusing although naughty e-mail from a spy at the Department of Transport this week. Our mate informs us that four youths from Canberra recently pulled off a trick of breathtaking bravado to gain revenge on a mobile speed-camera van operating in the area. Three of the group approached the van and distracted the operator's attention by asking a series of questions about how the equipment worked and how many cars the operator would catch in a day. Meanwhile, the fourth musketeer sneaked to the front of the van and unscrewed its number plate. "After bidding the van operator goodbye, the friends returned home, fixed the number plate to the car and drove through the camera's radar at high speed - 17 times," our transport spy writes. "As a result, the automated billing system issued 17 speeding tickets to itself. Go Aussies!"

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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Actual Answers on a California Drivers Test

January 26th 2007 04:36

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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There's a Burglar in my Shed

November 9th 2006 23:05

Going to bed the other night I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up.

A minute later I rang again. " "Hello, " I said, " I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them

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Posted By: Ian - Category: Police and Cops

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