January 7th 2008 13:39
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students. - Robin Williams
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. -- Demetri Martin
Fortune favours the prepared.
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. -- Dave Allen
I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.
In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. -- Margaret Thatcher
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -- General George Patton
If at first you don't succeed, the skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. - Katherine Hepburn
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.
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