Ian
D GabbardRedneck Jedi
March 18th 2011 03:34
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...
* Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
* You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
* You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
* At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
* There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
* You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
* You think that the Stormtroopers Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
* A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
* You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not the force.
* Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
* You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
* You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
* You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
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