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Things Not to Say During Sex

February 8th 2010 04:12
things not to say during sex


1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Try breathing through your nose

4. Is that a medic alert pendant?

5. But whipped cream makes me break out

6. On second thought, lets turn off the lights

7. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

8. I want a baby!

9. What is that?

10. Maybe we should call dr. Ruth

11. Did you know that the ceiling needs painting?

12. I think you have it on backwards

13. Oops! Did i remember to take my pill?

14. I told you it wouldn't work without the batteries!

15. Did i tell you my aunt martha died in this bed?

16. No, really...i do this part better myself!

17. Perhaps you’re just out of practice

18. You remind me of my cousin

19. I have a confession...

20. I really hate people who actually think sex means something!

21. Did you come yet, dear?

22. I'll tell you who i’m fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about...

23. When would you like to meet my parents

24. Long kisses clog my sinuses…

25. Was what good for me?

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