Ian
D GabbardSwedish Jokes
August 5th 2011 04:23
A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the air out of the tires. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top."
"This letter is too heavy," the post-clerk stated, "You will have to put on an additional stamp." The Swede looked wonderingly at him, "Will it be lighter then?" he asked.
The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer. The teacher answered, "Oh, that’s because the heat makes everything expand."
A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the first time. As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted by a warning message which said that there was a car driving the wrong way on the highway. "ONE?" the Swede yells out, "there are several hundred of them out there!"
In a Swedish army camouflage book: "When the soldier is moving through woodland, he’s supposed to break off branches and put them on his helmet. When he is moving through cornfields, he’s to break off some cornstalks and put them on his helmet. When the soldier is moving through a cabbage field he’s supposed to take off his helmet for the best camouflage."
An American, a Finn and a Swede are in the sauna together. Suddenly there is a "beep beep" sound, and the American starts to look at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" asks the Finn. The American replies
"This is the latest Motorola technology. I've got my pager embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
Then the familiar old Nokia ring tone is heard, and the Finn starts looking at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" ask the other guys. The Finn replies
"This is the latest Nokia technology. I've got my mobile phone embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
The Swede thinks to himself that he'd better not be outdone by these guys, so he leaves the sauna. In a couple of minutes he returns, and there is toilet paper hanging out of his bum!
"What the hell is that??" shout the other guys in unison.
"I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.
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